I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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