Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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