you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
