we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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