Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
