He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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