You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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