Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
