Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
