Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
