Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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