Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
