I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
it's great music for shaving your balls
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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