CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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