I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Randomize
