You smell like a Billy Joel song
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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