I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
