Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
