I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
