am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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