i think my mom watched the whole time
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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