The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
