They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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