Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She is in my trunk
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Randomize
