Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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