dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
