She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
