I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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