I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
