I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
