I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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