Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
