You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I think i got beer on your cat.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
