And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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