did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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