I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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