hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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