I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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