I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
