so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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