and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
