Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
