I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
