mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
