There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
