Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
