I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
as a side note pls kill me
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
