Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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