3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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