Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
