so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
