there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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