I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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