you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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