Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm like, not good at living.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
