It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
